My ex has changed into a different person reddit.
OP, you need to get away from him.
My ex has changed into a different person reddit Just a little personal experience. A complete 180 in his eyes. She has severe codependency issues with them. I've learned some things from my ex's and implemented them into my life to make it better. Yeah because it's 2 different peoplepeople have different relationships with different people . I think some additional context is required: this personality change has required more than adapting to my husband becoming a new person. Hopefully he will be a better husband to her than he was to me. She started drinking a lot, an issue towards the later part of our 10 years and 1 of the reasons we broke up, started vaping like crazy, going into debt by ordering tons of food via door dash, looking for validation through male attention. It took everything I have to get to a better place. He said things like "who could love them, they just got fu***, no men wants to be with a women like this". Basically the other person has teared you down (or you were an easy target before you got together) to the point where your sense of reality is fucked. It's been a couple weeks so it's still fresh, Admittedly, I'm naively holding out hope this isn't really the end. What exactly are your options here? I mean you could confront him, but that would likely drive him away and ruin your chances of My ex has become a completely different person and it scares me Never made a Reddit post before so not too sure how much to explain but here’s some basic context. Breakups are big events that can make someone look at their life differently. clearly he's grown and changed I hope you can as well your destroying Hi guys, I am in need of advice and different perspectives. She was shy and only opened up with people she was comfortable with. And it hasnt gotten me anywhere. Plus op obviously never moved on. " Now that I rephrase it I see that the last bit of my sentence could go either way. I’m taking the time to learn myself and know that I can be alone, something he will never do. My ex broke up with me for around 30 times in 2 years. I've spent the last 5 months gathering bits and pieces of myself and trying put it all together into a new version of me. What is this all about? I’ve been looking into narcissism because of how he broke up with me - used my vulnerabilities against me, started to associate with “higher status” people in My ex was also 3. Idk if I should resist this urge at this point or whether I should just fucking do it so I can have my worst fear confirmed Anyway idfk how far I should resist the urge though. It’s so weird how someone changes outside of a The 5 possible reasons why your ex changed overnight and is like a completely different person now are: 1. OP, you need to get away from him. Honestly I shake my head. Single now for just under 3 months from a toxic relationship. As the child - it has all changed, by my parents' divorce, the extrovert has become an introvert. I joke that I wish I got done dirty by a girl or hated her because this would make moving on so easy for me. I personally wouldn’t. He's doing things that are out of character. Whoever enters a relationship with my Ex in the future will be getting a different person to what I had. All my other ex's I have never been friends with. After i filed for divorce, towards the end of the process, she informed me she went to the doctor and something was wrong. The person I was with for 7 years was almost everything I ever wanted her to be until we started to change, growing to want different things. Please look after yourself and block him if you haven't already. I asked him how, he said it depends on the carrier, he said he has to make a couple phone calls and that it’s a long process of which he no longer does anymore because of the Divorces suck. I knew that I would feel better. I loved the nerdy side of him, we had a lot of interests in common and were passionate about the same things. ️ Yes my ex did change, he quit smoking permanently, got away from toxic friends, learned to value his family over friendship, changed his mindset about girls, virginity, past, became more open minded, started self reflecting, changed his personality previously he was more angry, now he is calm person, knows which battles to choose, bacame goal Literally my response/standard too. But 4 months is 1/3 of a year. I feel like I'm the same person as I was 5 years ago. I realized though it’s bc she’s not a healed person, she’s just recycling relationships at this point. i can tell u 2 months can change people. Everything has been so overstimulating. People change a lot during their twenties and thirties. This is above Reddit's paygrade. my ex girlfriend OP, you feel like your wife is a different person because she is a different person. Go to therapy. I was awful in the relationship but he wasn't a saint either. I have battled monster after monster and I've created genuine change in my life. Don't crawl into that dark corner that consumes all good that you think of yourself because you don't deserve that. Changed me as a person completely. it didn't end well as she wasn't happy that I dumped her over text as we had a very very intense relationship despite the small time frame - I left her crying but then again she didn't appreciate me for buying her gifts and listening to her My ex is now a different person. She doesn’t want to be nice because she’s worried it will give you the impression that she still wants to be with you, even though Some partners are lying after the break up saying they are fine when in reality it's the opposite. For you that isn't a good way to feel, and I have had pangs of it too now that my ex has become distant. My ex is changing to someone else, the new person is someone I wouldn't have fallen in love with. We’d been ‘together’ for four months. Terrible she has gas lit me and tried to make me out as a bigot. Yes the word “Slut” is harsh - but the poor guy has been betrayed very harshly. When I saw my ex was with someone else (after we'd been broken That new relationship lasted 5. She really sparked a period of self-discovery and I started to actually believe that my friends like me, which has been an incredible change. Do you ever compliment her or do you just say it's fine or nice? It's devastating to think how different my life would be if I had a similar relationship with someone when we graduated. My advice is to consider the door with the ex closed Let's say you really do change and you grow very quickly into the person he wants you to be. Only for that new relationship to fall into the same pattern. He didn't change you to benefit him, he changed you to benefit I commented on the original post, sorry you had to go through that. So, I'm 32 and in the last few years, a lot has changed for me. Focus on yourselves, find that person that shows you how important you are to them Stay strong friends :) My mom's best friend did that to her. Nothing excuses what she did, but that doesn’t mean she hasn’t learned from it. He tells me how gorgeous/beautiful/pretty I am at least 1x every waking hour. even if you say something really fucked up, over time they will come to the realization that you were right and they will text you once they do. I know it's a pain in the ass but people like your ex are relentless. Cocaine really makes people violent. My heart is My relationship affected my job and my mental health, and in turn, changed me into a person I didn't like. Go have fun. My ex did it and I don’t blame her for it. People change over the course of months/years and it takes time for people to get out of this situation. i know this for a fact because he’s having a hard time moving on, i’m his first love and he couldn’t imagine himself being with someone else nor me being in diff relationship. My ex is one of the best people I ever met. She made me feel like a terrible person for doubting her while she was cheating behind my back. She says a lot of the issues that caused so much problems are gone or much better. Been together 7 years and a couple of weeks ago my husband and I went to a party where we met my Ex. I can imagine in 2 years I could have a complete new life as well but after that long I dont think I would want a person from my past to get her feet back into my life. I have found someone who appreciates and loves me - as I deserve. He turned into someone I never would have married. This is something that happened to me recently. 15 years, hasn't found anyone, is considering getting back together with her if the opportunity was there, and he is Sometimes after a break-up, people will do new and different things because they realized, something has to change, or they'll just be heading into another relationship with the same situation. For example, he changed gender presentation and then reverted. one my exes (f 19) at the time was waiting on me (m 19) to change and mature into an adult couple instead of highschool dating like. I don't agree with your last statement. Not every ex becomes a different person after a breakup, but many people do change. I don't know what happened, but the breakup must have been very messy. I had questions. The damage she’s caused with zero regard for my boys, me, my side of the familyit’s just gut wrenching. There were car crashes, drug abuse, random sexual encounters from CL, and as I was to discover later sex work. I don’t think I’ll ever find that same connection we had either, but then again I don’t want to replace it. He always made fun of Girls who enjoy their Sexuality with different people or are active on Instagram. Do you also deal with the agoraphobia/avoidance to any extent? I know you are in a lot of pain. Seeing the person he thought he knew look like a stranger causes the same feelings of abandonment. When we broke up, my friends and family made me realize how much of what they love about me got suppressed when I was still in the relationship. After we broke up we agreed to still be friends and keep talking. Since she returned, she has been acting extremely strange. 291 votes, 148 comments. It’s like I’ve become a different person. Context, I'm a 32 y/o male that had been dropped by my ex about 4 months ago. Had opportunities to steal money from blacked out people, or cigarettes from blacked out people but never did it. Don't try to pull your past into the present. Do anyone else have a similar experience where after your relationship the person become a totally different person? I know it's been a few months and this comment is very out of the blue, but I've been exhausting myself trying to make sense of my ex's sudden change in behavior after 12 years together. Same thing that's been going on with me. So called friend said "get over it. That's what your wife needs right now because she has the hormones of a teenage boy. Reply she needs someone to fill the void so she jumped into a new relationship immediately. It might sound boasting but that is not my goal. I like getting to know people and texting and going on dates. Being friends with an ex isn't necessarily a bad thing, but hitting on and TMIing an ex with info about how amazingly one's life is going is definitely a cruel ego boost (sort of like how people only broadcast how awesome their lives are on social media) if not an aggressive and concerted manipulation tactic. Actually, we’d broken up before and got back together. i dumped her because she kept nagging me to plan dates when I didn't want to. the little jabs that are permanently burned into my brain, the social media posts of crazy parties at what was still my house (I was still on the lease) with a bunch of girls I’ve never seen before doing i get you, not that my ex changed drastically but she became even more extroverted, i know her as that little quiet girl that everyone sometimes forget, now everyone just talks to her or about her. Boy, was I wrong. They transformed into a person that I couldn't be with anymore. If you were together a long time and she has found someone else relatively quickly, it can be hurtful to think she didn't value your relationship if she can move on. 37 votes, 29 comments. Anyways . Change is good. She was precious to me, but she had baggages from her past where she brought it upon me. Re-programming yourself and burying yourself into work and hobbies will get you through it. It's just like withdrawing from drugs. She'll say things about people that make me think, damn that's bigoted. Now, I just feel anxious after every social encounter because I am a decrepit shell of my former self. I’ve been replaced by a different person who’s cold, twisted and bitter. I'm not "The courts don't take lightly to OP's ex wife harassing OP, who has a restraining order that was taken out against OP. I know people say you break up for a reason so it won't work. CONCLUDED people can grow. It’s extremely painful. Nothing has changed knowing this information but why is it hurting so bad Probably lots of different reasons. My ex has changed multiple usernames and profile pictures (I'm talking at least 10) on multiple different sites over the past month. That relationship is still poisoned. I always thought he was a good dad until I stopped saving him for the kids and now I see who he really is. My son even forgot to call me It's been about 4 years since then and I'm a totally different person now. By this, I mean to say that being aware of your actions doesn’t mean you can emotionally disengage and change your feelings. Many people have grown with their relationships but I never had that. I'm white and literally all 3 of my exes have been different ethnicities so I don't care but to him race/nationality is a big deal since Albanians are pretty insular. I searched "ex became a different person" and found this thread, and your comment. My ex technically left me twice already so I knew I had to move on. This transition has helped me to become a lot mellower. Now I wanna ask a different friend (who knows my ex better and also had smth going on with him before) whether he really has someone new. She would not answer. I repeatedly tried to get her to the doctor. everything that made him so special is gone. My stalker (I knew her in person and trusted her at one point) also had shared my Google location with her Google at some point when I let her use my phone. My Ex Wife dropped back into my life after 6 years . Posted by u/TruthfulBisonz - No votes and no comments 6 Mistakes to Avoid When Your Ex Suddenly Changes into a Completely Different Person. I'm a very different person from who I was at 18, 20, 22, or 24, but am not that different from the guy I was in my late-20s. Yeah i agree with the other post. everyone saw it. It’s very common. She probably meant she won’t move on right away. And for me, the best way to move on was to really just stop talking to my ex. Remember how you were at 17? My ex-wife (36F) and I (36M) met when we were 25. They both are likely different now. this is my first time in 6 years since i’ve been alone and i’m struggling a lot (my person also has a new girlfriend). They transformed into something unrecognizable to me. I didn't mean "OP took a restraining order out against someone," but "OP has a restraining order that someone took out against OP. I've always had this suspicion that if I somehow got a hold of her exes, I would find out all kinds of shit going while we were together. My wife has changed somewhat after the babies came. There are people I wish I could apologize to and I hate that they only know the version of me that How could one "change" into something they're naturally not for the sake of someone else? I can't fathom how one could truly change for someone else. For him to jump so quickly into the relationship I wouldn't be surprised if he was talking to the other girl while he was still with you in all honesty. 5 years and I thought I knew him inside out. Now before I continue I want to mention that she has some memory loss issues, frequently forgetting stuff that normally people would remember. It's always jarring when you see your ex move on. While I'm here working on myself, not getting into another relationship until I know im healthy to enter into someone else's life. I'm a woman - but my ex slept with someone shortly (1 month) after I broke up with him for various reasons. I feel used. He is no longer my problem. Don't beat yourself up. We live in times where personal responsibility is out the window and it's much easier to blame everyone else, I've done it myself. That means more than anything you can write. Through manipulation and abusive tactics, your ex has brainwashed you into thinking that you need and you never knew how long the high would last before your ex's mood changed. Now, in my personal experience, I interact with my ex very frequently due to kids. A few year into his job and our marriage, he changed. Trying to make an ex jealous, dating a lot of people as a way to get over your ex, and creating A lot of exes don’t reach out, and I think if you go into a breakup thinking they’ll reach out, you’ll never heal. Also for me there was not really a difference between working on me for myself or my ex. Believe it or not, the person you were with might not have been showing I don't even know why I fucking care dude, it's been literally half a year since we last spoke and basically a year since we broke up. In this article, we delve into the phenomenon of a former significant other We met in college and were together for 6 years. I think my ex is a person who has been through a hard life filled with trauma and they never fully matured emotionally. No way to tell why they just do. broke up with him because i couldnt For me it was a bit different- I had to change myself when I became committed to my ex, because he kept telling me about what he didn't like about me. Not as much as yours, she's still functional. I also had to adjust to his hobbies and activities. No, I do not think my ex is a bad person overall. If you have changed, and if you progress the outings slowly, you may make progress. There are many reasons why relationships fall apart, but I do treasure the good memories I got from those relationships. My fiancée is also happier and more stable with her birth control than without. Go to the gym. They were friends for like 20 years. Today is my birthday and he got me a present and no one else did lol. Before the podcast started reading reddit stories, the hosts would choose a topic and research it using Wikipedia. I've accepted my faults and I never deny the shitty things I did, but he 100% blamed me and felt like he did nothing wrong (doesn't help he has toxic friends that he heavily relies on to enable him). In this article, we will try to answer the question—how to tell if your ex has changed and talked My dad has broken the cycle of abuse (his father and paternal grandfather were way, way worse). I have been there, and yes, drugs do change s person's personality. We’ve been divorced 3 years. I can’t understand what happened, days ago he said he still loves me. I don't talk to many people. Doing it for my ex was just a good motivation to start. I am still healing from it. The other person will then become the comfort zone and a place called "home". He is remarried and his wife is pretty opposite of me. People don't change just like You need professional help in therapy. I would be doing the same things (studying, becoming succesful, becoming happier). I don't think she ever understood why my mom stopped talking to My ex is too, completely a different person after break up. Just seeing you. They may grow into a completely different person, which is why so many early marriages fail. A lot of my toxicity was due to the shitty work situation I was in, but now I'm doing something I love that's also good for the world. 5 years so I’d say it was a good decision at the time lol, I never regretted leaving my ex. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who had to explore other people to realize the value they have with me. Well this person was my lifelong friend, we were friends for more than 15 years and we were so tight like a knot that nobody saw us apart. Please take care of yourself. We were plucky ambitious people, trying to be “better versions of ourselves”: We each were flawed, but we help each other become stronger, and each patch the others weakness. Far easier than confronting your lingering feelings for someone and doing some introspection on what you may have done wrong. I think what’s interesting is I wouldn’t even say I know any of my ex-boyfriends anymore. My ex of 10 years also changed drastically. i don't know if it's about the break up but she hangs out with even more boys now and now plays a shooter game but Well, I am no love guru in any way shape or form, however- I am a relationship person. Posted by u/chambo143 - 1 vote and 4 comments And guess what. Likewise, I also messaged my Sounds like we dated the same person, haha. A breakup can be a catalyst for The worst has passed now. Nothing about her has changed. I My (48M) ex-wife (47F) has reached out to me after years . You cannot hold any emotions back. My ex w bpd knows he has bpd and absolutely knows he mirrors and also takes on new identities yearly; they are extreme identity changes too. I have found even just meeting people from online has been good even if they have not really gotten anywhere. " That was it. I just focus on my work and career. It made sense to break things off and she almost agreed, and we both cried together when we talked about it in person. But it has been a year, we broke up because essentially it got to the point where I depended on her too much, she was basically my "whole world". My ex will never heal. Fighting for it is going to be all about sex. my ex absorbed a lot of my ways, from having a reddit habit to seeking healthier habits like meditating,watching youtube videos on self help, reading self help content, practicing them, eating healthy, exercising, cutting out toxic habits slowly out of her life or avoiding people that eat up her time, she even started speaking like me and Each birth control method and brand is different, and they affect people differently. It's why we often say, the people around us, including our ex, are the people that affect us and mold us into the person we are today. She was actually better on daily pills than without birth control at all. People can have different views on how comfortable they feel about their partner being friends with their ex, because different people have different boundaries and expectations for what's acceptable in a relationship. His entire decoration style is so different, and he just seems like a 180* different person. She takes care of the kids. She claims to be doing much better, and has pointed to various markers - got a good job, therapy etc etc. But it would be harder for them to court me than somebody I've never met because I would be looking for signs that they are still who I knew. watching this personality change has felt like watching my grandpa's rapid dementia and eventual death. I neglected my friends, she always drove us everywhere because I didn't have a license, didn't have any hobbies besides spending time with This is going to be a wall of text because (a) I wish I could say this to a particular someone but I know it's inappropriate: (b) I thought I would share some advice when you see your ex with someone new, especially if you are the dumpee. My ex has a big heart and a lot of great qualities and I still love him very much and I love many of our memories and experiences together. And people are like ‘you should just control your anger’ but we actually can’t. I felt unsafe and it was too overstimulating. It would be a facade! Besides, the very idea is that they'd be a whole new person and one would think they'd have new needs, aspirations, and goals for their future. Staying friends with exes is a new social construct that was created by people with attachment problems. We broke up in early April, almost exactly a month from our two year anniversary, we were in a LDR long term relationship (both 17 at the time of the breakup but I was only a few Same boat OP. To me, it seems normal, especially if you are both happy, communicating and keeping good boundaries. Wow, this blew up. Before, we saw our friends once a week and mostly hung out around the Maybe things would have been different if I have done things differently. As someone who spent months scrolling through this forum searching for positive reconciliation stories, subscribed to Matthew Hussey's mailing list, even started to believe the tarot readings on my TikTok fyp telling me that my ex was just 'on the wrong path', believe me when I say that I couldn't have wanted him back more. It is a strange feeling, it is like looking at someone with the exact same face as my ex My question is wheter anyone has experience with this type of personality change situation and do they ever go back to their old and true selves? I will keep no contact for sure but its just not I feel like this person is me. It has everything to do with the personality change. Dude same. The bad was that I spent a lot of years being someone that I wasn't just to try to fit into society. People most definitely can and do change. our relationship same here, just happened to me, went to sleep for few hours woke up to find all my profile pic and skills and education have changed, all old details stay same, i recommend to immediately change password and log out and clear all cache and passwords and delete all plugins and addons for your current browser and use another browser for a month Our dynamic has changed a lot since our breakup. He jumps from woman to woman and cant be alone. my ex and i(m20) had been together 5 months and broken up for 5 . Now, she is suddenly acting like a robot towards me. It has worked, insofar she really realised what had happened and has left me alone since To the OP, if this is what happens with you — remain polite, cordial, short, and direct. She claimed she would “let you know if I’m talking to someone” fast forward she has a bf which I found out through mutual friends. I’m a completely different person than I was at 23/24, my god, I was a mess. About a month into our ‘reconnection’, I found out she had said some nasty things about me post-breakup to a friend who later tried to sleep with her. If they're different, you'll be different and the relationship will be different. After he broke up with me came back and left me again, he turned into a different person. Time changes people- whether they like it or not. She got into a quad accident 2015 stage 4 fracture of humorous. Every person has the right, full autonomy to change - I understand that - maybe she was just finding herself and maybe we did share the same future at the time we dated but I've come to accept ultimately it just didn't work out. and With the exception of 3 (my ex who was a drug user and stole, the one I went crazy when we broke up on, and my ex husband) we all have some contact. And you deserve that too! And my ex? He's now single again. The crushing bitter divorce I went through is an old memory now and my ex wife no longer antagonises me. this subreddit is for a podcast called reddit on wiki, that reads reddit stories. I met the organizer, who was a black woman about 50 years old. Watching my ex change and spiral into ever more self destructive behavior was one of the most difficult things I've ever been through. But things were probably harder for your ex than he wanted to let on. For some reason since then I cant stop thinking about her. We grow from our past relationships and mistakes. I thought the business was a bad idea because we were still both in school at the time and we argued over it often. You are much braver than you thought. In short, seeing is believing. Some didn't have feelings for the other person and it was easy for them to move on, therefore Okay, so your ex is acting like a different person. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who has to compare my love to others to see if its worth keeping around. I've been dating locally again, but over the last few months my BPD ex and I started talking again. You can accept that it's over or you can fight for it. If your ex couldn't see that, I know someone else will. I'm so grateful to her. The person my Ex was, and the person I miss, literally does not exist anymore. we spent nearly everyday together for 4. My ex claimed she “felt powerful” in knowing she was going to focus on herself. he isn’t my first, in fact it was my fourth relationship and it’s comparable out of all of my previous relationship. I understand your hurt and anger because my ex jumped on tinder 2 days after our relationship ended so I felt like I meant You’d have to be an absolute fool to believe that someone won’t move on from you after you have broken up. I made the mistake of checking her Instagram and I just You only got to see your ex’s true personality after he or she has left you because your ex stopped caring about how he appeared to you. Like someone else said, it's more of a reflection on him than you. my ex feels the same way. That must feel amazing to be that empowered, hats off to you. We are just platonic best friends. I find power in knowing I’m doing better for myself, while he’s not, but thats his problem. But hes changed into a very different person, so maybe I just love the him he used to be, but it still feels like I love him. You've gone through a traumatic experience. From what I know, he treated his new girlfriend even worse than he treated me. She also has some multiple personality issues, which is what I suspect has happened. My ex of 3 years moved on so fast and shes going to bars and dressing slutty and seems like she has it all figured out. And I asked my ex friend if she’s okay and told her she’s being distant with me and my ex friend got mad and told me to stop this ‘high school drama’ and unadded me on Snapchat 🙃 then Emma agreed to hang the following week then she blocked my contact and blocked me on everywhere else. My husband doesn't care because I'm still me. My ex definitely had racist tendencies too. My ex went from focusing on our relationship to putting 100% into the kids. He helped me through a recent breakup. I was pushed into being very direct and straight up — exactly as you said. We share an apartment, and Im leaving Sept 1st, moving back in with my mom 20 minutes away. I also work and live in the suburbs now, whereas I was a true city boy before. The pain will subside at some point, I promise. While it doesn’t change my opinion of them as a person, I think it comes down to a self-respect thing. Dating people when you know that you are able and capable to committ to a new person and when you no longer do things in reaction to your ex. Now she has to find out who he really is. but you can’t come into someone’s life knowing what the deal is As I can relate to a lot you've said - my ex-girlfriend has severe depression. When your ex girlfriend (or wife) is no longer behaving like the woman you used to know and you don’t know why, you might feel tempted to try to I’m in my 30s now and happily married to an entirely different guy, but my early 20s choices are the biggest regrets of my life because they are up so much precious time and messed up my psyche. That it Also change all of your passwords. He basically went from this nerd to a well paid corporate during the course of our marriage. I completely agree with this. Not for me, or anyone else. i mean i guess i just didn't see her change the last months we're together. You also change a lot after a breakup since your heart is still with your ex. Then a few years later my grandmother died. She's still a worthy partner to have. I just know it’s someone I despise. Nothing even similar to anything he might know. Friends father died. I've dyed my hair 8 different colors gained and lost 100 pounds, got piercings, gotten rid of some, definitely changed my style, and honestly now my style isn't. You have 2 basic choices. we'd be married if she cared to spend any time with me once we had kids. She still works. Only found out 4 months after the breakup because mutual friends were disgusted. He helped you with controlling your temper when you need that the most. I no longer gave a shit by then. he cheated on me, emotionally abused me, and manipulated me for a Sometimes after a breakup some people act completely different because they don't know how to be themselves after losing their loved one. The couple times in my life when i dumped i didn't change a thing where it mattered regarding my personality. He came crawling back swore he changed, I asked him if he slept with anyone while we were apart (I had not) he said NO- I honestly would have let it slide if he had, but he said NO. " After the breakup I went into solitude and doubled down on; •working out (got ridiculously shredded) •started a side business to focus my spare time into (quite successful) •hung out with friends who weren’t apart of worldly culture (drinking, smoking, drugs, partying, alcohol) • DIDNT drink or party • meditated, learnt more about After 4 years I found out my ex was fucking my roommate of 5 years. The thing that truly changed my perception was when I volunteered at my former church at a Red Cross blood drive. I think that most of society not wanting to believe that someone can truly change and be dedicated to it, convinces former abusers that any effort they put into changing will never be enough and that they will always be seen as a monster no matter what. Not long after we broke up she moved away to the other side of the country for a job. Today after the breakup, I am a completely changed man. My ex of 8 years blocked me the minute we broke up and I haven’t heard from him since (it’s been years now). My psychologist said what I described is called enmeshment and it is not healthy for the kids. Very different from the one with my ex. This person was like family to me. But she has a mean and ungrateful streak about her. He ended up investing half and starting a business with the rest. true. Most people don't want to show they are hurting. I had lots of opportunities to cheat on my ex but never did. Without a moment's notice, your ex would turn into a distant and different person, sometimes for a i have bpd too- i’ve come to realize it does go away. As I was concerned that her new bf has a 13 year old trans child and my kids were thrown into the situation. My husband and I (36 and 35 respectively) have been poly a few years. Don't fall for it. Divorce causes you to evolve and change as a person. A year after we got married, my ex came into some money. I believe people grow every year(s) and become different people so whoever they are now and whoever I am now may be better compatible. I've experienced this first hand. now he’s the total opposite. but it My ex wife (as of a little over a month ago) has completely changedI can’t describe what’s happening. It makes me feel weak and pathetic that she is moving on and I am in agony. But overlapping relationships are just a perfect view of your/my ex. People do change some over time, too, but usually over long periods or in response to significant life events. I was devastated, my whole world was shattered. I'm a divorcee and I know that both me and my ex-wife has changed significantly from the people we were during our marriage. i was suicidal to the point that i had to be admitted to a mental hospital this september. Our lives are very different, now. I don't even want to speculate the secret shit my ex of 7 years has pulled off. Started to trust my intuition a lot more since I got into the I am sorry your ex had an easier time moving on. It affected me and I only stood up for myself, for what's right, but maybe if I could have just humbled myself down and become better at conflict resolution, I would have not lost her Not OP, but in my experience, I miss the good memories of my ex-boyfriends. They take all their toxic shit into something new. 1. I know I was a better person with her but her betrayal (It was bad) just In this article, we’ll talk about why your ex might be acting differently and how it’s a part of their healing process. If they paint you as a monster and place all the blame on you it’s easier to move on. When my ex and I were together, he told me that he found evidence to confirm his exes were cheating on him through his ability to hack text messages and call logs. But yeah he definitely had some anti-black sentiments as well. I think it’s a self-defence measure. There are too many hurt feelings, lingering resentments, old wounds, that would make your relationship start off And became friends with my ex friend. Broke my heart, started seeing someone only days after and all her posts her “I’m letting go of toxic people, only Manifesting good things,” ect only to be the most horrible person to me. Rehabilitate yourself. I had a relationship that lasted a year, about five years ago, and my husband also had an outside relationship for a few months at the same time. After our breakup, I don’t know what I turned into. Its hard because on a few months ago we were talking about marriage and children and our lives together (we just moved in together barely 6 months ago) but now shes a totally different person. But I will say my relationship with the ex I left was pretty toxic and abusive at times, I emotionally checked out for the most part because of that probably six months before I actually left. . You've become a stronger person than you were before the marriage. My Ex changed to the worse. My ex husband cheated on my 5 years ago and we got divorced 4 years ago. I didn't even call him out Oh wow my ex did the exact same thing. I don’t just take my son to our library to avoid crowds (or worse), or leave an elderly parent at home to avoid driving my son into the park. But yea if it was a true change I would give some of my ex another Has my ex changed? There is no denying that breakups can be valuable lessons whether you are the dumper or the dumpee. You have to be brutally honest. My ex broke up with me about 5 months ago after about 4 years of dating. at first I just thought it was how he was acting towards me because of the breakup, but multiple of his friends Who you are in one relationship is not who you'll be in another, and it doesn't matter if you've learned or changed. She was one of the nicest woman I have ever met, including most of my family. My ex said nothing was wrong with her and there was no need for a doctor appointment because i was the problem. My point is, if you are a different person while drunk, maybe you should think about if it's worth getting shitfaced. My ex was an angel sober, but he went into cocaine psychoses and was paranoid, delusional, and violent (he never got sober for long and died of an OD) But if someone isn't completely gone, it's a grey area how much it is "them". It will get easier. Of course you aren't terrified of flying any more. Therefore, how could a true Posted by u/Silly_Protection_887 - 1 vote and 3 comments So I found out through facebook that my ex girlfriend for nearly 2 years that I broke up with 4 years ago now has a kid. Because i was "in control" so change didnt have to happenso i thought. I am always thinking, always working. Professionally, I went to school and started a new career as a massage therapist, a whole different life from my old career as a waiter. For me, it was nice to have the company but I actually cried the next day as I missed my ex. I quite literally don't know where I would be without her coming into my life. My ex was doing great on a typical daily pill birth control before, then Mirena turned her crazy. I am not that extroverted anymore. They might decide to try new things, meet new people, or just Both myself and my ex changed after the divorce. Its also in my head that I know he hasnt changed and the relationship will end at some point because he hasnt worked on himself. For the 3 years we were together, he had only a couple friends, didn’t like to drink or party, enjoyed jazz and classical songs, didn’t like living in a big city. she begged me multiple times to change my effort and timing and I always said I would. The majority of people don't because change is difficult and uncomfortable, it requires self evaluation and taking responsibility. I always say, if we were to magically meet again and he wanted to talk, even as friends, I would The main difference is that I now think about every step, every phone call, every movement, and every trip, every time someone in my household has the virus. Op is already dipping into "intimate" conversations and they haven't seen each other in years. My Ex (Cole) and I had more taboo types of sex you could say a lot more taboo, and I was trying to explore my sexuality back then and he was taking advantage of that being emotional abusive to pressure me into having different kinds of sex. Just don’t turn yourself into someone you’re not, just to get your ex back. Get the aggression out. Took me being dumped this time to have my real awakening. You don’t know the person you’ll become in five, ten years. Stop comparing yourself to this new person because you are own person, and you are beautifully different. I cannot speak for her, but I worked on myself because I did not want to repeat the same arguments I had during my marriage in my future relationships. I didn’t leave my house for years and it turned into (or always was) basically agoraphobia. If they were actually interested in me. 5 years, also jumped to a new girl two weeks later (and with someone that had absolutely been pursuing him when we went long distance the last two months) and the girl who pursued my ex sounds a lot like your ex — possessive, infatuated with the idea rather than who they actually are, and tbh, completely unwell. I got with someone a month later who knew me anyway so knew I’m not over my ex. She started dating some third guy almost immediately after our breakup. Who knows, the new person knows how to deal with it. Thank you all, I'm still trying to read all your responses - I will read them all. unfortunately i’m struggling with it going away without having to have another person to attach to. When one person still has feelings or has been hurt bad, I don't think friendship is healthy. I bathed this lady, wiped her ass. I've been down this road years ago. My medication has helped with my tantrums. This has nothing to do with her being a “slut”. My mother consoled her, cooked her dinner, drove her kids to school, helped clean her house. I just have to meet new different people and move on. Now It was the last time I wore my much loved rose coloured glasses. My ex and I got married at 20 and our divorce was finalized at 26. People grow up, change, meet new people and experience The change hurts. This dude is absolutely manipulating you. People change up really quick. They’re Reflecting Their True Self Now. my ex was genuinely the kindest soul I have ever known. People cross-post stories for a chance that our podcast hosts (Sean, John and Josh) will read the story on the show. It sucks (I also think he's doing it because he knows I'll react in some way). My ex wife had issues. Stopped trying to believe the best about people and started seeing them for what they are. Not the one for excuses or lack of accountibility however sometimes the same ol same ol stems from lack of maturity. She’s a covert narcissist- never in a million years would I think she’s capable of what she’s done/said. Lexapro (escilopram) 20mg. They say that each person, on average, meets five people they can truly connect with as a possible lifemate. I even keep in touch with my high school boyfriend and his wife. Nothing. Your life has changed, and you have to. rtwwkyrxfmsqgbvcsgsdaqetcbksshzxlzhzuugufdfyqobkagnk